The researcher
by Sue Thomas Hegyvary
I wake up in a cold sweat,
Having barely survived that sea of numbers
Clanking and clashing around me,
Threatening to swallow me up
In waves of one through nine.
With no sense of order, they’re like
The magnetic letters stuck to the fridge
Before the kids learned to read whole words.
Wide awake, I sort the numbers
And try to find their secret codes,
The special messages they carry,
Like pigeons with important news.
That’s why someone smarter than I
Created statistical tests,
Those referees that sort
The five percent that matter
From the ninety-five percent that don’t.
I hesitate to abandon those deemed unworthy,
And hope their mothers love them.
After less than half a blink, I greet
Those precious few that passed the test,
Elated at the sight of newfound friends.
No longer just numbers in a wrestling match,
They now signal Truth,
Or at least significance,
As told in holy books called
Statistics and research methods
And quantitative analysis.
I thrill at every asterisk,
As proud of significant R-squares
As a mother cat with her new litter.
When all is done and said,
I rest peacefully before
I return to the number pit,
Eager for the next round.
Sue Thomas Hegyvary, RN, PhD, FAAN, is professor and dean emerita of University of Washington School of Nursing, Seattle, Washington, USA. Read more about her.
